All of us had people in our lives who, at one time or another, harmed us profoundly. In some cases, that situation has changed with that person, while in others, it’s still going on. It may be that in some cases, you’ve forgiven that person and they, in turn, may have shown remorse and have taken ownership of their actions. In others cases, however, the same behavior goes unchecked with no change or responsibility, whatsoever. In this blog, we take a deeper look at toxic personalities and how you can work towards letting go of toxic people and relationships you may be experiencing.
First of all, so-called toxic personalities are not necessarily bad people at their core. In most cases, they are highly-pessimistic, unmotivated, uninspiring, stubborn, and they have a talent of draining you of your energy and zeal by discouraging you every step of the way.
In more severe cases, however, toxic people consciously or unconsciously try to manipulate you every step of the way. They judge you for your every action but do not take responsibility for their own, nor do they take responsibility for their feelings. They believe that, somehow, it’s your task to make them happy.
Besides, they will almost never apologize, they are inconsistent with their words and actions, they will make you prove and defend yourself to them, and they are not caring or supportive of your interests and desires. In short, toxic people will somehow get into your head and weigh heavily on your soul.
Choosing to let go of a toxic personality or exclude a person like this from your life is probably the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself, at the moment. You will not be rewarded in any shape or form if you choose to stick in the company of such a person and, by extension, marinate in that toxicity, yourself. But by deciding to not be with a person that continually makes you feel bad, be it a friend or family member, is an act of courage that will honor both you and the truth, itself.
Letting go of people you care about is hard, even if they have a negative influence on you. And it’s not just about the feelings you have for that person but also the time you invested in that relationship.
Nevertheless, when you reach that point where you evaluate your life in your head and realize just how consistently unhappy you are, you have the opportunity to say “The heck with this! I deserve the kind of life that’s filled with happiness and compassion, and nothing and no one can tell me otherwise.”
The faster people will come to this realization, the better it will be for everyone involved. It, of course, doesn’t mean that you should abandon others in their time of need just because their situation doesn’t fit in with your vision of a happy lifestyle. But it does, however, mean that you should never find yourself in the position where their happiness is dictated solely by your actions.
The reason toxic people feel dependent on others for their happiness is that they are not happy with themselves, to begin with, and they look at you as a reflection of their faults. In the end, everyone relates to others through their way of viewing the world, and this is why you need to get clear on your desires and focus in life.
With this in mind, you should also try surrounding yourself with people that are already happy with who they are, who will support and encourage you to follow your dreams, and who will not blame you for faults that are, actually, their own.
We’ve all been tempted to stick around a person in the hope that we can change them. It is something that every person needs to do on their own and will even resist if others try to push them. It is a journey that every person needs to take on their own, as so should you. If you want to learn more about this path of happiness, let’s determine your habits of thinking as a start. You can use our free Habit Finder Assessment tool to take a confidential assessment.
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